Send it Away

Date: August 8, 2010 Scripture: Ephesians 4:30-32
Series: The Gospel for Relationships
Proposition: Please the Holy Spirit by forgiving your fellow believers.

Title: Send it Away

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Intro: Grudges are a challenge. They can be from years ago, or hours ago.
They can be clearly stamped in our consciousness, or reside in the background to emerge only occasionally. We may think we have gotten over a grudge, only to have the anger re-emerge.

But can you imagine a world without forgiveness? It would be brutal.
Can you imagine your own life without forgiveness? It would be isolated.
If we will ever live in reconciliation we need forgiveness.

Transition: This is can be a great day of healing for all of us.

Main Points:
I)Paul warns us against making a fearsome impact – to grieve the Holy Spirit of God
A)Isn’t it amazing that we can grieve the Holy Spirit of God. We don’t want to do that – we don’t want to cause a sorrow in God.
There is a doctrine known as the impassability of God – which is that God’s holiness and perfections are never overcome or compromised by his emotion. That is a wonderfully comforting doctrine, but it should not cause us to think God is unaffected by what goes on among his creatures. We know that form this verse – Do not grieve (offend and sadden) the Holy Spirit of God.

B)To heighten our desire not to grieve the Holy Spirit Paul tells of one of his ministries: By whom you were sealed… Sealed by the Holy Spirit –
A seal in New Testament times was not the activated glue on an envelope flap.
A seal was a large drop of wax on a scroll that had an imprint on it from the sender, usually a king or high official. An intact seal assured the receiver of two things:
1)the letter or scroll came from that official
2)and the contents had not been tampered with.
So to be sealed means to be marked and protected. You being sealed by the Holy Spirit means to be marked as authentically belonging to, and being protected by God.
…for the day of redemption – that is when Jesus Christ comes again. This means that the Holy Spirit will carry you through the spiritual land mines of this world.
Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit.

How do we grieve the Holy Spirit? By causing or exacerbating division.
All Christians share the one Holy Spirit. But if I have hostility against you – what does that do to the Holy Spirit? It grieves Him.

II)So here’s what we need to do to avoid grieving the Holy Spirit.
Vs 31
A)Put off all sinful forms of anger.
When anger is working for good – it’s a signal that a wrong needs to be rectified. It’s about correcting an injustice. When it’s working for bad – it creates anxiety and sickness and tension and division. It’s especially the division that Paul is focused on here.
Paul lists different types of anger – six of them in vs 3
There are different kinds of anger, and you want to put off all of them.
There’s the “never, ever will I speak to you again” bitterness
The burning “I’d like to pound on you” wrath
The “I still can’t believe you did that” active anger
The yelling and brawling of clamor
The gossip of evil speaking
And the “I’m going to get even” or “I hope bad things happen to you” of malice. When you daydream of bad things happening to someone- that’s a sign of anger.

There is a story of a man who was bitten by a dog, which was later discovered to be rabid. The man was taken to the hospital where tests revealed that he had, in fact, contracted rabies. At the time, medical science had no cure for this disease and so his doctor faced the difficult task of informing him that his condition was incurable and terminal. “Sir, we will do all we can to make you comfortable. But I cannot give you false hope. There is nothing we can really do. My best advice is that you put your affairs in order as soon as possible.”

The dying man sank back on his bed in shock, but finally rallied enough strength to ask for a pen and some paper. He then set to work with great energy. An hour later, when the doctor returned, the man was stilling writing vigorously. The doctor asked: “Are you working on your will or your funeral service?”

“Neither, Doc,” replied the dying man. “This is a list of the people I’m going to bite before I die.” That’s a different kind of bucket list.
We might have a similar list – people we’d like to see suffer for their wrongs.

These are all to be put away from you –
B)Here are some helps for that
1) James 1:20The wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
2)It is for your good. In unresolved danger you deceive yourself that justice is being done – when in reality you are hurting yourself.
Someone has said: Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~ Malachy (say ‘Mala kee’) McCourt.

3)Trust in God’s justice.
Romans 12:19 Vengeance is mine says the Lord.
The wrong done to you will be repaid in this life or the next
Leave it in God’s hands.

C)Do you have a long term or short term anger to put away to day?
The old nature is a grudge-holder, and nurses anger.

III)There is something then to put on v 32
A)Kindness – be kind to one another – it means to be useful and helpful
B)Tenderness of heart – tenderhearted – the word is literally good hearted, and so it says let your compassion come from in here.
C)Forgiving one another – here is the challenge for most of us in some area -
C. S Lewis said: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”
D) Forgive in the Greek literally means “to send away”
1) God sends away our sins “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12
2) Forgiveness sends away the desire for punishment. He sent it on Jesus Christ. “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
3) Forgiveness sends away a recollection of the offense
“I will remember their sins no more” Jeremiah 31:34
He is not in heaven recalling your sin – mulling it over, getting incensed once more over every detail.

E )This is what God has done for us, and it is the power and motive for us forgiving others. Forgive as God in Christ forgave you.
God’s forgiveness of you is the foundation for you to forgive someone else.
Send it away.
F)Our objections:
1)“That person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven” That is so true – just as it is true that neither did you.
2)“That person took so much from me. It’s too costly”
It was infinitely costly for God to forgive you.

So if you will forgive someone you will bear a cost. I don’t mean a cost financially, necessarily, although if it involves money, that you may bear a financial cost. And that is a tangible illustration of other costs – a loss of reputation, a loss of time, a loss of joy, a loss of health, a loss of an opportunity, a loss of a dream.
Why should you forgive them? Why should you bear a cost? They don’t deserve it!
You didn’t deserve forgiveness from Christ either.
And you will forgive when you decide to accept the cost. You may do that with hot tears and deep sobs. But you may never be more like Christ than in that moment.

Application: I have learned over the years that in these situations most everyone’s circumstances are uniquely complicated. And so some big questions are:
If I forgive do I have to trust someone again?
What if someone doesn’t apologize, or even know they hurt me?
What if someone did evil to me or a loved one?
What about being challenged and belittled and tromped on every day?
What if a person is always repentant, but then does the same hurtful thing, over and over?
Does my forgiving others apply to believers only, or to all people?

One of the impediments to forgiveness is our fear of being hurt again…and again. If I forgive, our reasoning goes, then I will be vulnerable to further pain.
It helps to think of forgiveness in two levels.
1)The first level is let go of your anger by sending away the sin.
a)You send away the desire for revenge.
(There is still a place for he law being enforced, and for there to be consequences)
b)You send away the remembering.
You won’t dwell on it anymore, or
talk about it anymore.
One key sign you have crossed a good line – you can think about the matter without churning inside. If you think about it and get churned up inside, it means you have some processing to do – acceptance of the loss and committing it to God.
c)You will be courteous and civil to the offender.
d)This is complete when you pray for God to bless the person.
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Putting away anger by sending away the sin is the first level. You want to do that in every situation.

2)The second level of forgiveness is be reconciled and to restore the offender to a place of trust. You don’t do this with everyone. This is how you keep from being walked over. Trust is not a given, if a person is not trustworthy.
If a person says to you:”You don’t trust me!” Don’t jump to: :Well, it’s not that I don’t trust you.” Probably it is you don’t trust them. That may be wisdom.
But your hope is always for full restoration, and there are times to take this step immediately. When reconciliation is restored, that is a wonderful blessing, and a gift.
When Thomas Edison and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took hundreds of hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day, after finishing a bulb, Edison handed it to a young errand boy and asked him to take it upstairs to the testing room. As the boy turned and started up the stairs, he stumbled and fell, and the bulb shattered on the steps.
Think about that. The light bulb is going to revolutionize manufacturing efficiency, and all kinds of work, and transform homes. And they can get rid of those dangerous candles and smelly oil lamps. And this kid drops it. You stupid bumbler!”

Instead of rebuking the boy, Edison reassured him and then turned to his staff and told them to start working on another bulb. When it was completed several days later, Edison walked over to the same boy, handed him the bulb, and said, “Please take this up to the testing room.”

What a gift. The boy didn’t deserve it. And he must have been so nervous going up those steps. And Thomas Edison may have held his breath until it was safely upstairs.

God has entrusted us humans with the illumination of the world. “Love me with all your heart,” he said, “love your neighbor as yourself.” And as we turned to go up the stairs – crash. “You stupid bumbler!” And yet we are forgiven. And God is reconciled to us in Jesus Christ. God says to us: “You child of mine.”

Conclusion: Every marriage, every home needs a good dose of forgiveness. Every church needs a heavy does of this. Our world needs it. Every heart needs it. And by it we please the Holy Spirit.

http://ccbacsmallgroups.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/send-it-away/

Watch Your Language

Date: August 1 2010 Scripture: Ephesians 4:29

Series: The Gospel for Relationships

Proposition: Use your words to build up others.

Title: Watch Your Language

Intro: These mouths of ours are a challenge. In a moment, without thinking, boom, there goes a flaming arrow. It’s the toothpaste out of the tube – it’s going to be a challenge to get it back in the tube.
The tongue is a fire, James says.
But there is much good that can come out of our mouths as well. Our words can be a powerful tool to bless others.
We are looking at a section in Ephesians where Paul teaches the practicality of living in reconciliation. He builds a concept for how we live that with a put off – put on model for conforming to the image of Christ. Obeying the commands of Jesus is like taking off an old self ((v 22) and putting on a new self (v 24). The old self is corrupt because it’s deceitful and prone to being deceived. The new self is created by God in righteousness and holiness that come from truth.
Then he gives illustrations of that put off/put on in verses 25ff. In verse 25 he says, “Don’t lie; speak truth.”
In verses 26–27 he says, “Don’t sin in your anger – get rid of your anger daily” In verse 28 he says, “Don’t steal; work and give.” And so on.

Transition: He follows the same pattern in vs 29
Main Points:
I) Put Off Corrupt language – 29a
A) He sets up a high standard without any exception –
Let no corrupt word
Suppose you have toddlers coming to your house on a regular basis.
You notice you have nail heads sticking up on your deck.
How many nails should you leave sticking up? None.
You want no rough and sharp edges.
In communication, how many destructive and tearing words do you want? None.
B) No corrupt word
Corrupt means rotten or decayed or spoiled.
Some would like to be Christians with a salty tongue. This verse squashes that.
1) Let’s consider some simple concepts for this
a) First, don’t use God’s name in vain.
The third commandment is: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. What you do with his name reflects your respect, or lack of respect for him. You don’t want to use his name to express your anger, or surprise. Hallow the names of God and Jesus Christ. Don’t sue his name to do or say untruthful things.
b) Second: Don’t use coarse language.
What’s wrong with using words like hell and damn in anger? They trivialize terrible realities that we need to keep with ultimate seriousness in our minds.
The act of sexual relations, created by God as good to be fulfilled in marriage—gets transformed into a four letter word and carries the meaning of hate and reviling.
c) Speaking in Mean-Spirited Ways
Mean spirited words are those that demean and cut. It’s why your mother never liked: “Shut up!”
You want to treat your family with the same courtesy with which you would treat a stranger or friend.
God tells our sharp edges can do: “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18 ). We know that’s true. We’ve been pierced with that sword many times ourselves.
2) When are we at our most corrupt with our language? When we are tired or stressed. So it helps to know that, and make more effort then to be slow to speak, to recognize your buttons that cause eruptions, and slow down, and follow an old adage – repair to your place of prayer.
II) Put On
Paul gives us a whole new way of thinking about our language. He doesn’t say: “Clean up your language. “ Instead he gives us a new motivation
A) To have proceed from your mouth what is good for necessary edification.
Edification means to build up.
Think of the possibility of your words building up another person.
There is great power in your word.
You can build someone else’s faith. You can reduce their anxiety. You can give them the confidence to meet the next challenge.
Sometimes you may not realize the power of your words; power to build up or to tear down to heal, power to wound, , to make a person feel valuable or worthless. In fact, Proverbs 18:21 says, “the tongue has the power of life and death.” With the words you say, you can make someone feel either dead or alive inside.
B) And with your mouth you can impart grace to the hearer. Grace is the blessing we receive from God when we deserved a cursing. Imparting grace means we impart a blessing.
Every time you speak you have an opportunity to build up and impart grace.
You can impart grace.
1) With compliments
Mark Twain said he could go two weeks on the strength of one compliment
2) By expressing thanks and appreciation.
3) You can impart grace by sharing yourself. You may be one who doesn’t communicate inner thoughts and hopes and fears. You are good at silence, broken by an occasional grunt or sigh, and some of your best communication is rolling your eyes.
But what grace could come if you express your tenderness, your hurts, your expectations, and your needs. The people who love you and the people you love desperately need for you to Share your life, your heart, your fears, your hopes.
If you could just risk letting them know you it would open up a depth of closeness and healing you never thought you could experience.
4) On the other side of that, there is a place to listen well before speaking. Someone may not talk much to you because what they express gets hammered.
You need to back off from making it about you and your status. Think less about controlling others, and more about influencing them. Your words don’t need to be a hammer, people run from hammer blows. Your word can be a seed you plant like a farmer, hoping it will produce fruit.
Your tongue is a powerful instrument.
It can fire out scorching flames, or it can breathe out cooling aloe
It can deliver destruction, or it can whisper hope.

III) Our greatest example and power for this is in God’s language, always with grace.
A) There is God’s general word through his creation Psalm 19
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
2 Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
4 Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
The grandeur of the stars declares to us that God is glorious. In the warmth of the sun he imparts grace to us every day. In the rain we are blessed with life sustained. In the beauty of the lily God is speaking. God speaks grace though his creation.

B) We have God’s written word
Deut 32:46-47″Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. 47 They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. By them you will live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.”
II Timothy 3:15 the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

C) And we have Christ as the living Word. He is the ultimate expression of God.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth.
He is the ultimate and true expression of God, and he came for the express purpose of imparting grace.
Application:
1) There is in the Gospel a message for our relationships – God has been gracious to us
And so We can be gracious to others
God imparted grace in His created and written and living Word
We can impart it in our spoken word.
Use your words to impart grace.
write note of encouragement or sympathy in a card
Make a phone call – brief and affirming..
Make a point of speaking face to face – a compliment, a thank you
2) Tom White is the director of Voice of the martyrs, an organization which seeks to aid persecuted Christians. Tom White was part of a group that tried to get gospel literature into Cuba, and he was captured and jailed. He was imprisoned with other international prisoners. Each day there wer given fish and a few vegetables toe at. The fish turned black and fell apart when it was cooked. They quickly learned why – it was fish from the Soviet Union and it was dated seven years earlier. The international section of the prison was on a floor above the Cuban section, and the Cuban prisoners were treated much worse and given less food.
So Tom White and others at night would lower food down in a bag out a window. The prisoners below would take the food out.
The lesson Tom White learned was that every day we have a choice – even in prison. We can pull back into ourselves in despair and selfishness, or we can choose live for God and to be a positive influence. Even if we are in prison we can make that choice. So even where you are you can make that choice.
Conclusion: Your mouth can be a means of grace to others.
Prayer – Lord, we are powerless in our own strength.

http://ccbacsmallgroups.wordpress.com/2010/08/03/watch-your-language/

Be a Giver, Not a Grabber

Date: July 25 2010 Scripture: Ephesians 4:28

Series: The Gospel for Relationships

Proposition: Put on the new humanity in Christ of being a giver rather than a grabber.

Title: Be a Giver, Not a Grabber

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(Click to Listen to the Sermon Audio or Right Click for “Save As” Download)

Intro: Are you a thief? “No, of course not. I’m not even tempted!”

Well, maybe you are tempted, and maybe you have been, or are now a thief.

There are lots of ways to steal, as we shall see. As we want to live in God’s blessings, we need to make sure we are right about stealing.

A woman walked into a meat shop near the end of the business day and asked the butcher for a chicken. He pulled a chicken out of his cooler, and laid it on his scale. Is that alright?

She asked: Do you have a one that’s a little bigger?

That was his last chicken, but he wanted to sell it.

So he said: Yes, I think I do. And he put that chicken back in the cooler, and then he pulled it out again and laid it on the scale, but this time he put his thumb on the scale and it weighed a pound and a half more.

Is that all right? He asked.

Yes, it is she said. I’ll take both of them.

There are lots of ways to steal, and lots of ways for our sins to find us out, sooner or later.

Transition: Let’s see how God’s word instructs us on this. It may surprise you.

Ephesians 4:28

Main Points:

I. Paul has prefaced this section with a call to put off and put on

V 22 Put off the old human being

V 24 Put on the new human being

Vv 25 to the end of the chapter give specific examples of that.

II. We are to put off Stealing

Let him who stole steal no longer.

A: Dictionary Definition Stealing is to take the property of another without right or permission. (American Heritage)

B) There are motivations or reasons for theft –

1) Anger – the self-pity that ’m not being compensated enough for my work. or revenge – if someone stronger has upset them then stealing can become a way of revenge. Or ti can be a way to show anger against the rules of life, a rebellion against the law.

One person said: “Well, I don’t think stealing from corporate entities is wrong…
With how badly they’re ruining my country, I couldn’t care less.”

2) For some it may be an addiction. They get a rush from the danger of being caught. “When I take something from a store, I feel more in control” a younger girl in the group said.

For others the motivation to steal is to support their drug habits. Their addiction compels them to get the money anyway they can, no matter what the consequences.

3) Need – someone who is lacking basics of life can be tempted to steal

4) Greed – a person simply wants to have more

5)) Laziness – there are those who would rather steal than work for their money. Whether they are too lazy to work or be diligent or learn a viable trade, or enjoy rebelling against the law. And then there is the very common – loafing or wasting time at work

6) It can be motivated by a desire for status, Stealing can mean being “cool” or being accepted by the friends one hangs out with Or it can be seen as a way to keep up with others financially, the way to run with the big dogs.

C) Why is stealing wrong?

It steals from someone’s time, and therefore from one’s life

It injures a person’s sense of security and stability

Most victims of burglary attest to the fact that their stolen possessions and their dollar value are dwarfed compared to the personal injury felt.

This verse is in the context of unity, of living in reconciliation, and stealing is dividing.

D) The Westminster Catechism expands on all the commandments and it tell us many of the ways we can steal.

Question 142: What are the sins forbidden in the eighth commandment?
Answer: The sins forbidden in the eighth commandment, are theft, robbery, and receiving anything that is stolen; fraudulent dealing, false weights and measures, removing land marks, injustice and unfaithfulness in contracts between man and man, or in matters of trust; oppression, extortion, usury, bribery, vexatious lawsuits; engrossing commodities to enhance the price; unlawful callings, and all other unjust or sinful ways of taking or withholding from our neighbor what belongs to him, or of enriching ourselves; covetousness; inordinate prizing and affecting worldly goods; distrustful and distracting cares and studies in getting, keeping, and using them; envying at the prosperity of others; as likewise idleness, prodigality, wasteful gaming; and all other ways whereby we do unduly prejudice our own outward estate, and defrauding ourselves of the due use and comfort of that estate which God has given us.

Let him who stole steal no longer. Put if off.If you have drifted into stealing, put it off. Make restitution where you have done that.

A Christian who worked for the railroad in Western Nebraska took home tools from work. After hearing a sermon on not stealing, he confessed to his fellow church members what he had done, and returned the tools to his company with an apology. That man helped spark a revival in his church as those who had stolen or casually rationalized other sins confessed their sins and stepped back onto the road of holiness.

III. We are to Put On something in place of stealing

But let him work with his hands what is good

A. Work is not a curse

Adam and Eve had work to do before the fall – they tended the Garden.

The curse is the weeds and thorns that infest the ground – literally for farmers symbolically the frustrations of work for others.

But work itself is a good gift of God. God is the greatest worker of all and we are created in his image.

B. With his hands

This means to apply yourself in your work.

Don’t base in on whether you feel like working.

Base it on God’s call.

Colossians 3:23

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as unto the Lord rather than men.”

Have a good work ethic

Show up for work everyday

On time

Ready to give a full day’s work

Don’t call in sick unless you are sick

C. Work with his hands what is good

Your vocation makes a difference – Your work should be good

In some way it should contribute to life – to protect or nurture life, to add beauty, or value.

Preying on people’s weakness is always a way to make money, but it is not working what is good. Being a bookie, dealing pot, getting people drunk do not work what is good. Trading on lust or greed does not work what is good. But as you can identify how your work helps life, how it edifies, how it promotes integrity and order and growth, then you work what is good.

So test your vocation! Is it the performing of what is good?

D. The Westminster Catechism gives us another way to look at God’s call in this area of working with our hands what is good – Question 141: What are the duties required in the eighth commandment?
Answer: The duties required in the eighth commandment are, truth, faithfulness, and justice in contracts and commerce between man and man; rendering to everyone his due; restitution of goods unlawfully detained from the right owners thereof; giving and lending freely, according to our abilities, and the necessities of others; moderation of our judgments, wills, and affections concerning worldly goods; a provident care and study to get, keep, use, and dispose these things which are necessary and convenient for the sustenance of our nature, and suitable to our condition; a lawful calling, and diligence in it; frugality; and an endeavor, by all just and lawful means, to procure, preserve, and further the wealth and outward estate of others, as well as our own.

IV. Paul ends this verse with a New Motive

A) It is to be a giver, rather than a taker

It is a blessing to help someone in need

I hope you have found the joy of giving.

We can take an attitude to hold on to all we can, thinking that is wise stewardship.

B) There are three levels in this area –

First, you can steal in order to have.

Second, you can work in order to have.

Third, you can work in order to give.

Paul says: don’t stop at the second level. You can stop there and it’s legal – work in order to have. But there is another step to take in Christ – as you work, be grateful it provides you the opportunity to give. This verse can change your life.

C) Let’s think about helping:

We know there are people who take advantage of help. We don’t want to enable bad habits.

There is a book titled: “When Helping Hurts”

That is an arresting title.

When does it hurt? When it creates dependency, or discourages responsibility

The mantra of the book is working WITH the poor rather than doing things FOR them or to them

But given that caution, take joy in helping someone in need.

V. A necessary concept in this is that everything belongs to God.

1. Psalm 24 “The earth is the lords, and the fullness thereof.”

IL: We lose blessings when we don’t understand that. A man took his kids to McDonald’s and he bought his boy fries and his boy was sitting across from him and the father didn’t have any fries himself, but as he began to smell those fries — you know how good they smell — he began to smell those fries and instinctively, he reached across to get some fries out of his little kid’s packet, and as soon as his hands touched those fries his little boy grabbed that hand and pushed it back. He said, “Dad, Dad, don’t take my fries!” And Dad recoiled and felt bad. I felt terrible.” He said, “I began to quickly think of what just happened.” He said, “You know, I looked at my son and I said to myself, my son doesn’t realize where those fries came from. He doesn’t realize about five minutes ago I went to the counter, reached into my pocket, took out my money and bought those fries for him and I am the source of those fries. He doesn’t understand that.” He said, “Secondly, he doesn’t understand that if I want to, I can take those fries away from him which, probably about right then was a good thought. Thirdly, he doesn’t understand that if I want to, I can go over to the counter, and I can order about a dozen fries, and I can bury him in fries.” He said, “What he didn’t understand is I didn’t need his fries. If I really wanted to, I could go back to the counter and get my own. But what I needed was his willingness to share what I had already previously given him.”
One of the first things to learn about money and good is: “We own nothing.” Everything you and I have right now is a gift of God’s. Life and breath itself is a gift of God. (story adapted from John Maxwell’s sermon “Stewardship Living”)

We can forget that God is a giver, and it makes us a grabber.

But when we remember that God is a giver, and what we have is form Him,. We are givers.

Be a giver, not a grabber.

B. Christ’s is an example of this:

He did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom.

He said: The thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy, I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly. He is a giver.

This is the Gospel for relationships: Gospel means good news – that the Good news here is that God is a giver. He gave life to this world and to us, and sustenance. He gave His Son. He daily loads us with blessings.

It is also good news that God does forgive thieves – his forgiveness can put us on a new path where every day it’s not what can I grab, but what can I give.

Application:

Follow Christ and be a giver, not a grabber.

http://ccbacsmallgroups.wordpress.com/2010/07/28/be-a-giver-not-a-grabber/

Handle Anger for Unity

Date: July 18, 2010 Scripture: Ephesians 4:26-27

Series: The Gospel for Relationships

Proposition: Handle your anger in a godly manner.

Title: Handle Anger for Unity

(Click to Listen to the Sermon Audio or Right Click for “Save As” Download)

Intro: Have you gotten angry recently? Probably. To be human is to be angry. Anger is an extreme displeasure or hostility. If you are angry today that is a tough place to be in. Anger can be satisfying for a while, but then it gets old and fatiguing.

And it challenges our relationships. In this series on the Gospel for Relationships we are looking at God’s instruction and provision for us to live in reconciliation. Unresolved anger is a major factor in that. You may be steaming a bit inside this morning – over something that happened this morning, or that happened years ago.

Transition: What do the Scriptures tell us? Ephesians 4:26-27

Main Points:

I. Be angry and do not sin.

1. It is possible to be angry and not sin.

1. Did Jesus get angry?

Yes And there is the overturning of the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons, and driving them from the temple court. That energy was fueled by his anger at what was done to His Father’s house.

Mark 3

When the Pharisees objected to Jesus healing a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath, we read this about Jesus:

And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart…

Mark 10

And they were bringing children to him, that he might touch them; and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it he was indignant…

Because Jesus was sinless, yet he got angry, it is possible to be angry and not sin. Not all anger is sinful. If you have a sense that all anger is wrong, so you try to avoid it at all costs, then you are going beyond what the Scriptures teach. Anger is part of normal humanity.

2. When is anger righteous?

Psalm 7:11 God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.

What kind of God is this who gets angry?

God is a just judge. If we think God wouldn’t get angry, then he wouldn’t be a just God.

The cross itself is related to anger, for by the cross God’s anger against sin was satisfied. And the fact that he sent his son to take his anger and judgment in the place of sinners shows that he is also a God of love. It says anger can be resolved at the cross. This is the Gospel for anger in relationships.

We have a term called righteous anger, or righteous indignation, and that is anger because you see an injustice, including an injustice to you. When something that is rightfully yours is taken from you, for example.

B. We know from this text that one can be angry and sin, as well.

Three things make anger sinful

1. One is that it is simply a selfish anger. I didn’t get my way, I didn’t get what I wanted. Life didn’t cooperate. People don’t do what I want them to do.
2. We can express our anger the wrong way – by being destructive physically or verbally.
3. Anger is sinful if we hold onto it and nurture it. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.

II. Are you angry?

You might be very aware of your anger, and say: “You bet I’m angry!”

Or maybe you’re not so aware of it – Here’s a list of symptoms of anger – ways in which anger shows itself.

Irritable	Impatient
Frequently frustrated	Frequently annoyed
Excessive quarreling or arguing	Overly aggressive & antagonistic
Sarcasm, and its companion, eye rolling.	Excessively competitive
Bullying of others	Chronic violation of rules at work
Rude	Lies
Callous	Hostile
Overly critical	Tries to ruin someone’s reputation
Quits jobs regularly	Negative
Severe	Verbally abusive
Stealing and forgery	Arrest record
Violent acts against people, property, or oneself	Threats of violence
Repeated drunkenness	Excessive recklessness
Fire setting	Disregard for others safety

We have many ways for our anger to show itself.

III. Once you have determined you are angry – then comes the next step – at what are you angry? Or more likely, with whom are you angry?

There some common figures with whom we can be angry -

• Authority figures from the past and present
• Teachers, police, boss, pastor
• Parents
• Spouse
• children
• Peers (past and present)
• Someone who is dead – any of the above who hurt you, or someone who died because he didn’t take care of himself.
• Yourself
• God

IV. What are you to do with your anger?

“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”

Don’t procrastinate resolving it. Get rid of grudges daily.

Overlook what you need to overlook

Gently confront what you have to confront,

forgive what you have to forgive,

apologize for what you need to apologize for,

(adapted from Ron Hutchcraft “A Word with You Today)

Submit to God.

But deal with that anger.

Sometimes it can be done quickly, and you just move on.

Sometimes it is a process, and you will need to accept a loss and grieve, and you will need to remind yourself – you let that anger go, and you still choose to let it go, and choose not to dwell on it, or talk about it anymore.

This is part of the new human being of vs 24, to make positive decisions about our anger.

The old human being of vs 22 holds on to anger. And then anger holds on to us.

V. Nor give place to the devil

Long-term anger is a wedge the devil can use to get to you individually, and into groups as well. This is a powerful motive to handle anger in a godly manner – You don’t want to give place to the devil.

1. He uses anger to depress and discourage

If you are depressed today, if you are feeling blue and rather hopeless, the first thing to look at is long-term unresolved anger. It’s not the only cause, as grief over losses and sickness can cause it as well, but you always ought to consider it.

There is a instructive story from a book called “Happiness is a Choice”

A college student went to a counselor reporting that he was depressed, and had been so for about six months. The counselor asked if there was anything that happened about six months ago that made him angry. He quickly answered “no,’ but then as he thought for a bit his face began to get red, and his clenched fists had white knuckles. Then he said: Yes, there was something. My college instructor accused him of cheating on a test, and did so in front of the class. He said he had not cheated, but he was deeply humiliated. And angry.

The counselor asked if was ready to forgive the instructor.

No!, he said forcefully. Never! She doesn’t deserve it.

The counselor gently chided him: You are really hurting her, aren’t you? She likely doesn’t give it any thought.

It took some more discussion and pointing out that unresolved anger is the chief cause of depression, for the student to realize he was hurting only himself

He decided to let go of his anger and forgive her, and in about two weeks his depression lifted.

Nor give place to the devil.

B. The Devil uses anger to divide

Could it be that you have let a fire smolder in some relationship in your life? You’ve tried to ignore it, but it smolders and sometimes breaks out in a fire. Maybe it’s broken into a flame and you have a blaze on your hands that you cannot control.

Maybe there is a strained relationship in your life right now, between you and your spouse, or you and a child, you and a co-worker, you and a brother or sister in Christ. Don’t wait another day to do something about the fire of anger.

The devil is ready to run to the fire of anger and pour on the gasoline, because he loves division.

(adapted from Ron Hutchcraft “A Word With You Today”)

Nor give place to the devil.

It’s time in some way to let go of that anger.

VI. So what’s the key to handling our anger in a godly manner?

1. Learn from Jesus teaching – where possible you need to speak out your anger. It’s been said you will either speak it out or act it out. Usually acting it out is destructive. Speaking it out can be. But think of what Jesus said: If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.

One of the best things you can do to resolve anger is to speak it out in a controlled and considerate way. Whether or not the person hears you, you are helped by that.

Use the sandwich approach – the two pieces of bread are affirmations and expressions of caring.

The meat is the issue at hand. You begin with a slice of bread – an expression of appreciation.

You put on the mat – the issue t hand.

And you finish with a piece of bread – an expression of love.

B. Learn from Jesus on the cross – I Peter 2:21-23

How did Jesus not revile (verbally abuse)?

How did he not respond to suffering thrust upon him with threats?

“But committed himself to Him who judges righteously.”

You and I must be convinced that God judges righteously.

The most literal translation says:

committing himself to Him who is judging righteously,

It tells us that God is judging righteously, even now in your life.

We need to leave things in God’s hands.

Application: Are you ready to let go of anger in some relationship?

This could be a great day of freedom for you. Pray about it. Commit your circumstances into God’s hands. Release that anger and be quiet before God.

Conclusion:

Handle your anger in a godly manner, following after Jesus Christ. It’s needed if we will live in the reconciliation to which we are called.

http://ccbacsmallgroups.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/handle-anger-for-unity/