Watch Your Language

Date: August 1 2010 Scripture: Ephesians 4:29

Series: The Gospel for Relationships

Proposition: Use your words to build up others.

Title: Watch Your Language

Intro: These mouths of ours are a challenge. In a moment, without thinking, boom, there goes a flaming arrow. It’s the toothpaste out of the tube – it’s going to be a challenge to get it back in the tube.
The tongue is a fire, James says.
But there is much good that can come out of our mouths as well. Our words can be a powerful tool to bless others.
We are looking at a section in Ephesians where Paul teaches the practicality of living in reconciliation. He builds a concept for how we live that with a put off – put on model for conforming to the image of Christ. Obeying the commands of Jesus is like taking off an old self ((v 22) and putting on a new self (v 24). The old self is corrupt because it’s deceitful and prone to being deceived. The new self is created by God in righteousness and holiness that come from truth.
Then he gives illustrations of that put off/put on in verses 25ff. In verse 25 he says, “Don’t lie; speak truth.”
In verses 26–27 he says, “Don’t sin in your anger – get rid of your anger daily” In verse 28 he says, “Don’t steal; work and give.” And so on.

Transition: He follows the same pattern in vs 29
Main Points:
I) Put Off Corrupt language – 29a
A) He sets up a high standard without any exception –
Let no corrupt word
Suppose you have toddlers coming to your house on a regular basis.
You notice you have nail heads sticking up on your deck.
How many nails should you leave sticking up? None.
You want no rough and sharp edges.
In communication, how many destructive and tearing words do you want? None.
B) No corrupt word
Corrupt means rotten or decayed or spoiled.
Some would like to be Christians with a salty tongue. This verse squashes that.
1) Let’s consider some simple concepts for this
a) First, don’t use God’s name in vain.
The third commandment is: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. What you do with his name reflects your respect, or lack of respect for him. You don’t want to use his name to express your anger, or surprise. Hallow the names of God and Jesus Christ. Don’t sue his name to do or say untruthful things.
b) Second: Don’t use coarse language.
What’s wrong with using words like hell and damn in anger? They trivialize terrible realities that we need to keep with ultimate seriousness in our minds.
The act of sexual relations, created by God as good to be fulfilled in marriage—gets transformed into a four letter word and carries the meaning of hate and reviling.
c) Speaking in Mean-Spirited Ways
Mean spirited words are those that demean and cut. It’s why your mother never liked: “Shut up!”
You want to treat your family with the same courtesy with which you would treat a stranger or friend.
God tells our sharp edges can do: “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18 ). We know that’s true. We’ve been pierced with that sword many times ourselves.
2) When are we at our most corrupt with our language? When we are tired or stressed. So it helps to know that, and make more effort then to be slow to speak, to recognize your buttons that cause eruptions, and slow down, and follow an old adage – repair to your place of prayer.
II) Put On
Paul gives us a whole new way of thinking about our language. He doesn’t say: “Clean up your language. “ Instead he gives us a new motivation
A) To have proceed from your mouth what is good for necessary edification.
Edification means to build up.
Think of the possibility of your words building up another person.
There is great power in your word.
You can build someone else’s faith. You can reduce their anxiety. You can give them the confidence to meet the next challenge.
Sometimes you may not realize the power of your words; power to build up or to tear down to heal, power to wound, , to make a person feel valuable or worthless. In fact, Proverbs 18:21 says, “the tongue has the power of life and death.” With the words you say, you can make someone feel either dead or alive inside.
B) And with your mouth you can impart grace to the hearer. Grace is the blessing we receive from God when we deserved a cursing. Imparting grace means we impart a blessing.
Every time you speak you have an opportunity to build up and impart grace.
You can impart grace.
1) With compliments
Mark Twain said he could go two weeks on the strength of one compliment
2) By expressing thanks and appreciation.
3) You can impart grace by sharing yourself. You may be one who doesn’t communicate inner thoughts and hopes and fears. You are good at silence, broken by an occasional grunt or sigh, and some of your best communication is rolling your eyes.
But what grace could come if you express your tenderness, your hurts, your expectations, and your needs. The people who love you and the people you love desperately need for you to Share your life, your heart, your fears, your hopes.
If you could just risk letting them know you it would open up a depth of closeness and healing you never thought you could experience.
4) On the other side of that, there is a place to listen well before speaking. Someone may not talk much to you because what they express gets hammered.
You need to back off from making it about you and your status. Think less about controlling others, and more about influencing them. Your words don’t need to be a hammer, people run from hammer blows. Your word can be a seed you plant like a farmer, hoping it will produce fruit.
Your tongue is a powerful instrument.
It can fire out scorching flames, or it can breathe out cooling aloe
It can deliver destruction, or it can whisper hope.

III) Our greatest example and power for this is in God’s language, always with grace.
A) There is God’s general word through his creation Psalm 19
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
2 Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
4 Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
The grandeur of the stars declares to us that God is glorious. In the warmth of the sun he imparts grace to us every day. In the rain we are blessed with life sustained. In the beauty of the lily God is speaking. God speaks grace though his creation.

B) We have God’s written word
Deut 32:46-47″Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. 47 They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. By them you will live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.”
II Timothy 3:15 the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

C) And we have Christ as the living Word. He is the ultimate expression of God.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth.
He is the ultimate and true expression of God, and he came for the express purpose of imparting grace.
Application:
1) There is in the Gospel a message for our relationships – God has been gracious to us
And so We can be gracious to others
God imparted grace in His created and written and living Word
We can impart it in our spoken word.
Use your words to impart grace.
write note of encouragement or sympathy in a card
Make a phone call – brief and affirming..
Make a point of speaking face to face – a compliment, a thank you
2) Tom White is the director of Voice of the martyrs, an organization which seeks to aid persecuted Christians. Tom White was part of a group that tried to get gospel literature into Cuba, and he was captured and jailed. He was imprisoned with other international prisoners. Each day there wer given fish and a few vegetables toe at. The fish turned black and fell apart when it was cooked. They quickly learned why – it was fish from the Soviet Union and it was dated seven years earlier. The international section of the prison was on a floor above the Cuban section, and the Cuban prisoners were treated much worse and given less food.
So Tom White and others at night would lower food down in a bag out a window. The prisoners below would take the food out.
The lesson Tom White learned was that every day we have a choice – even in prison. We can pull back into ourselves in despair and selfishness, or we can choose live for God and to be a positive influence. Even if we are in prison we can make that choice. So even where you are you can make that choice.
Conclusion: Your mouth can be a means of grace to others.
Prayer – Lord, we are powerless in our own strength.

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